Let me start off by saying, no, this song is not like Lady Gaga's previous work. Artists change and evolve, and usually the first single is a SAFE choice for most artists. I would look for the other singles after the album comes out to be more earth-shattering. Example: compare "Just Dance" and "Love Game."
Despite sounding like the hybrid bastard child of Madonna, Disco, and today's usual pop themes, I actually like this song. It has a powerful message that will more than likely continue to resonate with today's youth: love yourself the way you are, anyone can do great things, etc. The song is about what you would expect soundwise as the first single from a pop artist's new album. It will do fantastic, and as Lady Gaga is prone to do, the singles that follow will make it seem like nothing.
HOWEVER
The music video is just...well...there needs to be a better word for strange.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wV1FrqwZyKw
Apparently, youtube is having trouble searching for it now, so all you get is a link.
I doubt I have seen such a terrible division between the message of a song and it's music video. The beginning of it is creepy. There is something about Lady Gaga pulling temporal babies out of her vag that makes me stop and wonder about WHY the people involved with this thought it was a good idea. The beginning of the video goes into the creation of the new race with the race of man (sounds like someone has been reading too much Hellboy) and how Mother Monster (Lady Gaga) gives birth to good and evil and can't decide which is better. Evil, in this case, is represented by a pulling a gun out of the vag. The music video then goes into dancing mostly naked people, dancing evil people with skeleton make-up dressed in tuxedos, and all sorts of weirdness. Orgies, unicorns, automatons, you name it, this music video has it.
The only way I could possibly explain this is for Lady Gaga to give her super-cult-fans a weird story of genesis. I fear what kind of Juggalo-style monsters this thinking could give birth to. Either way, this music video is just fucking weird or a work of certified genius. A quick tour of trends on twitter gives me an equal number of posts that are "WTF" and "SO GOOD." One of which claimed that if I didn't get it I should just shut up. Why don't you try explaining it instead of typing in all caps with 14 exclamation marks?
Giving birth to a wealth of temporal babies over an infinite time span has got to fucking hurt. Just sayin'. If anyone "gets" this music video, as I clearly do not, please try to enlighten me. I would love to freaking know why people think this is good other than rabid fandom. I do look forward, however, to seeing how the guy who runs Vigilant Citizen rationalizes this as the next stage in illuminati taking over our media. If you've never been there, I suggest you take a gander. He does make some good points for noticing very strange consistencies among pop artists these days. If nothing else, it's good for a laugh (or a tinfoil hat, take your pick).
Monday, February 28, 2011
Thursday, February 17, 2011
The Celestine Prophecy
How better to start this blog than to rant about something inconsequential? Still I will take time out of my day to focus on it and why it deserves my hatred.
Small intro:
Over Christmas break, my mother gave this book to me as a present along with a letter. Why? The letter said that we needed to improve our "communication" and work on these "communication issues." I assumed at the time that the book was supposed to be telling me everything that I am doing wrong and why I should be nicer to her and how I'm a terrible person and blah blah blah blah. I didn't know exactly how correct I was, nor did I know this book would deserve such a tear down. Let us begin!
The Celestine Prophecy is a book of self-help fiction. Analyzing those last three words is kind of interesting. A self-help book is one thing. A work of fiction is something completely different. Yet, this book tries to be both. What the author intended was to take his weird new-age form of spirituality and deliver to it his audience in the form of an adventure novel! Oh boy! I went into reading this thinking it would be like if the Dalai Lama decided to write The Da Vinci Code. That would probably be awesome. The Celestine Prophecy is not.
The only book that I have read previous to this that pisses me off to no end is The Catcher in the Rye (say what you want about it, I have a problem with a book that makes a hero out of a pathological liar). Let me begin with summarizing the plot of the book. The story begins with the narrator, John Woodson, coming into contact again with an old friend with something to tell him about a "mysterious manuscript" found in Peru. We eventually get to hear that our narrator is going through a midlife crisis of sorts and is looking for guidance (by the way, this character is so Mary-Sue it's not even funny to talk about), though he doesn't know it yet. After hearing about the insights into life this manuscript touts, stuff about energy and the universe and how humanity is entering its next stage of evolution (a spiritual one), he decides that a trip to Peru to investigate this manuscript is in order! When I think "man in mid-life crisis," I think motorcycles, affairs, muscle cars, coaching a little league baseball team...the classic stuff. Trip to Peru to investigate an ancient Mayan manuscript as a way of finding yourself isn't on this list, I suppose because it would be fucking lunacy. Especially since the military in the country is trying to suppress it at the wish of a Catholic Cardinal. The narrator then gets thrown down a path of coincidence, spirituality, and finding himself and the "true nature of the universe," all the while avoiding death and the military. The military and the Church are cliche villains in novels, to say the least. While reading this, I wondered if James Redfield (our author) gave any actual creative thought to this whole nonsense.
That's the summary of the plot. No, really. The book itself is either 157 pages long or a little over 240, depending on which version you get. Same book though. What the book is trying to convey is the "insights into life," specifically 9 of them. I'll reprint the insights for you here that I got from this place:
THE FIRST INSIGHT . . . A CRITICAL MASS
A new spiritual awakening is occurring in human culture, an awakening brought about by a critical mass of individuals who experience their lives as a spiritual unfolding, a journey in which we are led forward by mysterious coincidences.
THE SECOND INSIGHT . . . THE LONGER NOW
This awakening represents the creation of a new, more complete worldview, which replaces a five-hundred-year-old preoccupation with secular survival and comfort. While this technological preoccupation was an important step, our awakening to life's coincidences is opening us up to the real purpose of human life on this planet, and the real nature of our universe.
THE THIRD INSIGHT . . . A MATTER OF ENERGY
We now experience that we live not in a material universe, but in a universe of dynamic energy. Everything extant is a field of sacred energy that we can sense and intuit. Moreover, we humans can project our energy by focusing our attention in the desired direction...where attention goes, energy flows...influencing other energy systems and increasing the pace of coincidences in our lives.
THE FOURTH INSIGHT . . . THE STRUGGLE FOR POWER
Too often humans cut themselves off from the greater source of this energy and so feel weak and insecure. To gain energy we tend to manipulate or force others to give us attention and thus energy. When we successfully dominate others in this way, we feel more powerful, but they are left weakened and often fight back. Competition for scarce, human energy is the cause of all conflict between people.
THE FIFTH INSIGHT . . . THE MESSAGE OF THE MYSTICS
Insecurity and violence ends when we experience an inner connection with divine energy within, a connection described by mystics of all traditions. A sense of lightness--buoyancy--along with the constant sensation of love are measures of this connection. If these measures are present, the connection is real. If not, it is only pretended.
THE SIXTH INSIGHT . . . CLEARING THE PAST
The more we stay connected, the more we are acutely aware of those times when we lose connection, usually when we are under stress. In these times, we can see our own particular way of stealing energy from others. Once our manipulations are brought to personal awareness, our connection becomes more constant and we can discover our own growth path in life, and our spiritual mission--the personal way we can contribute to the world.
THE SEVENTH INSIGHT . . . ENGAGING THE FLOW
Knowing our personal mission further enhances the flow of mysterious coincidences as we are guided toward our destinies. First we have a question; then dreams, daydreams, and intuitions lead us towards the answers, which usually are synchronistically provided by the wisdom of another human being.
THE EIGHTH INSIGHT . . . THE INTERPERSONAL ETHIC
We can increase the frequency of guiding coincidences by uplifting every person that comes into our lives. Care must be taken not to lose our inner connection in romantic relationships. Uplifting others is especially effective in groups where each member can feel energy of all the others. With children it is extremely important for their early security and growth. By seeing the beauty in every face, we lift others into their wisest self, and increase the chances of hearing a synchronistic message.
THE NINTH INSIGHT . . .THE EMERGING CULTURE
As we all evolve toward the best completion of our spiritual missions, the technological means of survival will be fully automated as humans focus instead on synchronistic growth. Such growth will move humans into higher energy states, ultimately transforming our bodies into spiritual form and uniting this dimension of existence with the after-life dimension, ending the cycle of birth and death.
If you're still with us, good for you! That crap is a lot to read, especially for we Americans with our short attention spans. It's better, however, than reading the 240 pages of tripe you would have to wade through if you read the book. This philosophy (if you can call it that) is a weird mash-up of Romanticism (I'm talking late 1800's here for those of us who are not inclined to read literature), Predestination, Taoism, and our good old friends: the granola eatin' hippies (insert Kent State joke here). I'll go with the specific parts that I'm thinking of all these philosophies (in order):
"Romanticism emphasized intuition, imagination, and feeling, to a point that has led to some Romantic thinkers being accused of irrationalism[citation needed].
Romanticism focuses on Nature; a place free from society's judgement and restrictions. Romanticism blossomed after the age of Rationalism, a time that focused on handwork and scientific reasoning." (from Wikipedia)
Predestination is kind of easy.
Taoism is really big, but think of this as trying to achieve spiritual serenity for my purposes.
Hippies: BUT THINK OF THE PLANET.
A lot of this goes straight AGAINST science and reason. This is kind of loony, to say the least. There is a reason romanticism died out: science and technology are fucking awesome. I mean, really. I can access any information in the world that I want from my PHONE. Anyways...
My biggest problem with this whole philosophy is obviously that there is some spiritual energy that connects every human being that controls the universe. Now, if this were the Force, that would be awesome. But no, we're just supposed to achieve harmony with our evolution and the universe instead of shooting lightning from our hands.
My second problem is really with the ninth insight and how it is communicated in the book. Here's an example:
"Can you visualize human encounters that have this much meaning and significance? Think how it would be for two people meeting for the first time. Each will first observe the other’s energy field, exposing any manipulations. Once clear, they will consciously share life stories until, elatedly, messages are discovered. Afterward, each will go forward again on their individual journey, but they will be significantly altered. They will vibrate at a new level and will thereafter touch others in a way not possible before their meeting." (pg. 143 in the version I'm looking at now)
I shall analyze this from a mathematical perspective (and why it's bullshit). The internet tells me that the average person sees 900 people in a single weekday. That's a lot. If you take a place like New York City, I'm sure you're going to know about 10 of these people. But say you're in an unfamiliar place and know no one there. That means you would have to chat with 900 people in one day, and tell them your whole life story and determine what message they are trying to communicate to you (or rather, the universe is trying to communicate through them). There are 86,400 seconds in a single day. That gives us exactly 96 seconds to speak to a single person and move on to the next one. This would be the whole day, so you would have no sleep. If you can communicate your whole damn life story in 96 seconds, your life was as fucking boring as an episode of Mr. Ed. Further more, if we go into this a bit further, we can determine that the effects of you meeting these people becomes exponentially large as time goes on (one person meets 900 people, those people meet 900 more people, etc.). I could prove this, but I'm not that much of a nerd (right now, anyway). There is no way this could actually happen. However, the author does like to state that humans will voluntarily decrease the population of the earth. Still, even if it's 50 people, it is still unfeasible.
My last problem with this hippie bullshit is the way this book was written. It was written like someone entering their senior year of high school. It is overly simple, forces the issue, has no hints of subtlety, and is just poor writing overall. Another example from the text: "Less then ten feet away, a particular foliage plant caught my eye. I had often owned just this type as a house plant, a particular variegated form of philodendron. Dark green, its foliage branched out to about four feet in diameter. The shape of this plant seemed perfectly healthy and vibrant." (pg. 37)
How the FUCK am I suppose to take this book seriously if the author can't tell the different between then and than? I mean seriously. For this failure to occur, the author had to miss it and at least two editors. I don't have the words for how much this bothers me. I am a bit of a grammar nazi, but this is just stupid.
Another good example is a couple paragraphs above it, and why I consider it tripe:
"I was immediately awed by the shapes and forms around me. I seemed to be able to focus on each of the massive oaks in a total way, not merely on one part, but on the whole form at once. I was immediately struck by the unique shape and configuration of limbs each displayed. I looked from one to the other, turning all around. Doing this somehow increased the feeling of presence each oak exuded to me, as though I was seeing them for the first time, or at least fully appreciating them for the first time." (pg. 37)
No description, just simple, force-fed drivel. Ugh.
The only good thing I can say about this book is that it reacquainted me with one of my favorite quotes of all time, by Dorothy Parker:
"This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force."
I guess I just proved to my mother that I'm indeed a terrible person and that I need help (I actually haven't told her I got around to reading it yet, I'll update you all when that happens), but fuck me this book was stupid. The second to worst part of this whole deal is that there are people who believe this philosophy, word for word. It has a big following of idiots. The worst part is that this book spent 165 weeks on the New York Times Best Seller list.
I'll save the historical inaccuracies for other critics, but the idea of Mayans living in Peru? Laughable. The idea that they achieved the highest state of energy and literally vibrated themselves into another dimension? There is no word for how stupid that is. That is literally how the author explains why they disappeared. Never mind the evidence of how they destroyed the environments where they lived, had a 200 year drought, and a revolt of peasants. Clearly they were spiritual enough to just will themselves out of existence.
Small intro:
Over Christmas break, my mother gave this book to me as a present along with a letter. Why? The letter said that we needed to improve our "communication" and work on these "communication issues." I assumed at the time that the book was supposed to be telling me everything that I am doing wrong and why I should be nicer to her and how I'm a terrible person and blah blah blah blah. I didn't know exactly how correct I was, nor did I know this book would deserve such a tear down. Let us begin!
The Celestine Prophecy is a book of self-help fiction. Analyzing those last three words is kind of interesting. A self-help book is one thing. A work of fiction is something completely different. Yet, this book tries to be both. What the author intended was to take his weird new-age form of spirituality and deliver to it his audience in the form of an adventure novel! Oh boy! I went into reading this thinking it would be like if the Dalai Lama decided to write The Da Vinci Code. That would probably be awesome. The Celestine Prophecy is not.
The only book that I have read previous to this that pisses me off to no end is The Catcher in the Rye (say what you want about it, I have a problem with a book that makes a hero out of a pathological liar). Let me begin with summarizing the plot of the book. The story begins with the narrator, John Woodson, coming into contact again with an old friend with something to tell him about a "mysterious manuscript" found in Peru. We eventually get to hear that our narrator is going through a midlife crisis of sorts and is looking for guidance (by the way, this character is so Mary-Sue it's not even funny to talk about), though he doesn't know it yet. After hearing about the insights into life this manuscript touts, stuff about energy and the universe and how humanity is entering its next stage of evolution (a spiritual one), he decides that a trip to Peru to investigate this manuscript is in order! When I think "man in mid-life crisis," I think motorcycles, affairs, muscle cars, coaching a little league baseball team...the classic stuff. Trip to Peru to investigate an ancient Mayan manuscript as a way of finding yourself isn't on this list, I suppose because it would be fucking lunacy. Especially since the military in the country is trying to suppress it at the wish of a Catholic Cardinal. The narrator then gets thrown down a path of coincidence, spirituality, and finding himself and the "true nature of the universe," all the while avoiding death and the military. The military and the Church are cliche villains in novels, to say the least. While reading this, I wondered if James Redfield (our author) gave any actual creative thought to this whole nonsense.
That's the summary of the plot. No, really. The book itself is either 157 pages long or a little over 240, depending on which version you get. Same book though. What the book is trying to convey is the "insights into life," specifically 9 of them. I'll reprint the insights for you here that I got from this place:
THE FIRST INSIGHT . . . A CRITICAL MASS
A new spiritual awakening is occurring in human culture, an awakening brought about by a critical mass of individuals who experience their lives as a spiritual unfolding, a journey in which we are led forward by mysterious coincidences.
THE SECOND INSIGHT . . . THE LONGER NOW
This awakening represents the creation of a new, more complete worldview, which replaces a five-hundred-year-old preoccupation with secular survival and comfort. While this technological preoccupation was an important step, our awakening to life's coincidences is opening us up to the real purpose of human life on this planet, and the real nature of our universe.
THE THIRD INSIGHT . . . A MATTER OF ENERGY
We now experience that we live not in a material universe, but in a universe of dynamic energy. Everything extant is a field of sacred energy that we can sense and intuit. Moreover, we humans can project our energy by focusing our attention in the desired direction...where attention goes, energy flows...influencing other energy systems and increasing the pace of coincidences in our lives.
THE FOURTH INSIGHT . . . THE STRUGGLE FOR POWER
Too often humans cut themselves off from the greater source of this energy and so feel weak and insecure. To gain energy we tend to manipulate or force others to give us attention and thus energy. When we successfully dominate others in this way, we feel more powerful, but they are left weakened and often fight back. Competition for scarce, human energy is the cause of all conflict between people.
THE FIFTH INSIGHT . . . THE MESSAGE OF THE MYSTICS
Insecurity and violence ends when we experience an inner connection with divine energy within, a connection described by mystics of all traditions. A sense of lightness--buoyancy--along with the constant sensation of love are measures of this connection. If these measures are present, the connection is real. If not, it is only pretended.
THE SIXTH INSIGHT . . . CLEARING THE PAST
The more we stay connected, the more we are acutely aware of those times when we lose connection, usually when we are under stress. In these times, we can see our own particular way of stealing energy from others. Once our manipulations are brought to personal awareness, our connection becomes more constant and we can discover our own growth path in life, and our spiritual mission--the personal way we can contribute to the world.
THE SEVENTH INSIGHT . . . ENGAGING THE FLOW
Knowing our personal mission further enhances the flow of mysterious coincidences as we are guided toward our destinies. First we have a question; then dreams, daydreams, and intuitions lead us towards the answers, which usually are synchronistically provided by the wisdom of another human being.
THE EIGHTH INSIGHT . . . THE INTERPERSONAL ETHIC
We can increase the frequency of guiding coincidences by uplifting every person that comes into our lives. Care must be taken not to lose our inner connection in romantic relationships. Uplifting others is especially effective in groups where each member can feel energy of all the others. With children it is extremely important for their early security and growth. By seeing the beauty in every face, we lift others into their wisest self, and increase the chances of hearing a synchronistic message.
THE NINTH INSIGHT . . .THE EMERGING CULTURE
As we all evolve toward the best completion of our spiritual missions, the technological means of survival will be fully automated as humans focus instead on synchronistic growth. Such growth will move humans into higher energy states, ultimately transforming our bodies into spiritual form and uniting this dimension of existence with the after-life dimension, ending the cycle of birth and death.
If you're still with us, good for you! That crap is a lot to read, especially for we Americans with our short attention spans. It's better, however, than reading the 240 pages of tripe you would have to wade through if you read the book. This philosophy (if you can call it that) is a weird mash-up of Romanticism (I'm talking late 1800's here for those of us who are not inclined to read literature), Predestination, Taoism, and our good old friends: the granola eatin' hippies (insert Kent State joke here). I'll go with the specific parts that I'm thinking of all these philosophies (in order):
"Romanticism emphasized intuition, imagination, and feeling, to a point that has led to some Romantic thinkers being accused of irrationalism[citation needed].
Romanticism focuses on Nature; a place free from society's judgement and restrictions. Romanticism blossomed after the age of Rationalism, a time that focused on handwork and scientific reasoning." (from Wikipedia)
Predestination is kind of easy.
Taoism is really big, but think of this as trying to achieve spiritual serenity for my purposes.
Hippies: BUT THINK OF THE PLANET.
A lot of this goes straight AGAINST science and reason. This is kind of loony, to say the least. There is a reason romanticism died out: science and technology are fucking awesome. I mean, really. I can access any information in the world that I want from my PHONE. Anyways...
My biggest problem with this whole philosophy is obviously that there is some spiritual energy that connects every human being that controls the universe. Now, if this were the Force, that would be awesome. But no, we're just supposed to achieve harmony with our evolution and the universe instead of shooting lightning from our hands.
My second problem is really with the ninth insight and how it is communicated in the book. Here's an example:
"Can you visualize human encounters that have this much meaning and significance? Think how it would be for two people meeting for the first time. Each will first observe the other’s energy field, exposing any manipulations. Once clear, they will consciously share life stories until, elatedly, messages are discovered. Afterward, each will go forward again on their individual journey, but they will be significantly altered. They will vibrate at a new level and will thereafter touch others in a way not possible before their meeting." (pg. 143 in the version I'm looking at now)
I shall analyze this from a mathematical perspective (and why it's bullshit). The internet tells me that the average person sees 900 people in a single weekday. That's a lot. If you take a place like New York City, I'm sure you're going to know about 10 of these people. But say you're in an unfamiliar place and know no one there. That means you would have to chat with 900 people in one day, and tell them your whole life story and determine what message they are trying to communicate to you (or rather, the universe is trying to communicate through them). There are 86,400 seconds in a single day. That gives us exactly 96 seconds to speak to a single person and move on to the next one. This would be the whole day, so you would have no sleep. If you can communicate your whole damn life story in 96 seconds, your life was as fucking boring as an episode of Mr. Ed. Further more, if we go into this a bit further, we can determine that the effects of you meeting these people becomes exponentially large as time goes on (one person meets 900 people, those people meet 900 more people, etc.). I could prove this, but I'm not that much of a nerd (right now, anyway). There is no way this could actually happen. However, the author does like to state that humans will voluntarily decrease the population of the earth. Still, even if it's 50 people, it is still unfeasible.
My last problem with this hippie bullshit is the way this book was written. It was written like someone entering their senior year of high school. It is overly simple, forces the issue, has no hints of subtlety, and is just poor writing overall. Another example from the text: "Less then ten feet away, a particular foliage plant caught my eye. I had often owned just this type as a house plant, a particular variegated form of philodendron. Dark green, its foliage branched out to about four feet in diameter. The shape of this plant seemed perfectly healthy and vibrant." (pg. 37)
How the FUCK am I suppose to take this book seriously if the author can't tell the different between then and than? I mean seriously. For this failure to occur, the author had to miss it and at least two editors. I don't have the words for how much this bothers me. I am a bit of a grammar nazi, but this is just stupid.
Another good example is a couple paragraphs above it, and why I consider it tripe:
"I was immediately awed by the shapes and forms around me. I seemed to be able to focus on each of the massive oaks in a total way, not merely on one part, but on the whole form at once. I was immediately struck by the unique shape and configuration of limbs each displayed. I looked from one to the other, turning all around. Doing this somehow increased the feeling of presence each oak exuded to me, as though I was seeing them for the first time, or at least fully appreciating them for the first time." (pg. 37)
No description, just simple, force-fed drivel. Ugh.
The only good thing I can say about this book is that it reacquainted me with one of my favorite quotes of all time, by Dorothy Parker:
"This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force."
I guess I just proved to my mother that I'm indeed a terrible person and that I need help (I actually haven't told her I got around to reading it yet, I'll update you all when that happens), but fuck me this book was stupid. The second to worst part of this whole deal is that there are people who believe this philosophy, word for word. It has a big following of idiots. The worst part is that this book spent 165 weeks on the New York Times Best Seller list.
I'll save the historical inaccuracies for other critics, but the idea of Mayans living in Peru? Laughable. The idea that they achieved the highest state of energy and literally vibrated themselves into another dimension? There is no word for how stupid that is. That is literally how the author explains why they disappeared. Never mind the evidence of how they destroyed the environments where they lived, had a 200 year drought, and a revolt of peasants. Clearly they were spiritual enough to just will themselves out of existence.
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